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1.5.6-Aresnergal
Brick!Club 1.5.6. LE PÈRE FAUCHELEVENT Okay, you know what sucks more than being a character in this book ? Being a horse in this book. WHY DO THEY KEEP DYING. I mean I know they did die a lot, but seriously, the horse somehow broke TWO THIGHS ? Please tell me it was something like “he stupidly slipped in the mud and a heavy part of the carriage/of the cargo fell on it and broke his legs” and not “He fell BECAUSE his legs randomly broke”. Or that just falling did that. I mean I used to horse ride for some years and I do remember horses slipping or falling a little (not very often though) but I don’t remember any broking its bones so damn easily, even less spontaneously. DUDES those animals wouldn’t be around if they had glass bones, they wouldn’t even have survived long enough to be domesticated, they’re prey animals ! Made to run ! And preferably not falling while doing so ! And certainly not breaking bones by just falling, not when you’re an animal that can’t survive that kind of wound. Though I guess I shouldn’t doubt the possibility of completely stupid ways of breaking something; I did broke my arm once when I was a kid. By slipping. On a wet sewer plate. Oh well I’m not a horse. Though in this cart accident, let’s go honest, everything turned out the worst way. HOW DID YOU END UP BETWEEN THE WHEELS. So anyway Javert wasn’t the only dude to hate Madeleine since well Fauchelevent too at least until this point. You know, that name is ridiculously awesome. It means literally “Reap/Mow the wind”. NO BUT REALLY. And later it appears with “Ultime” before, aka “Ultimate”. THAT NAME SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS BELONGING TO A FRENCH SUPERHERO which is hilariously fitting. Anyway, Javert was of course there early to send for a jack because he’s Javert and he’s automatically summoned wherever something happens. Unfortunately he doesn’t have superstrength, only “super-making-guns-missfire” and, well, sudden convenient apparitions I guess. And then Madeleine’s jack senses are tingling so he appears as well. And we learn that this town is completely stupid and they can’t have any device to lift the cart before 15 minutes. Like really dudes. You’d think in a time period with stupid carriage accidents and horses dying randomly all the time, they’d have those things at every street corners. Though I guess it’s only a problem there because of the wet ground and the stupid way the old man ended up in the worst position he could. I can understand that the bystanders are afraid of killing the old man if they try, but on the other hand if Madeleine didn’t have Superstrength the poor Fauchelevent would be dead for sure before you helped him at all, and more slowly. For some reason Madeleine asks a volunteer and offers money instead of doing what he thinks should be done when he knows he can do it and while we were told about it in the other chapter as if everyone in town knew about it anyway, and he didn’t even notice Javert yet so what, did he begin to pretend he was getting too old for that shit once he began to worry ? I mean I saw people complaining that Javert was wasting time with his story but seriously Look at Madeleine He was already wasting time like wow I mean I’m pretty sure all those persons would have gladly saved a life and be able to brag about being a hero if they thought they could do it. If you think you’ll just be one more person to die because you know you’re not that strong, I don’t think you’d change your mind whether you’re given 10 or 20 golden coin. I know he’s a nice dude and desperate to have Fauchelevent saved and stuff, but I think it’s kind of sad that Madeleine can ever think that money is THE thing that will solve the problem because clearly if people are too physically weak and afraid, promising them money will suddenly make them strong and brave ! But there Javert intervenes to be like “LOL I KNEW THAT ONE GUY YOU KNOW WHAT HE WAS A CONVICT AT TOULON”, also he’s now also part falcon, decidedly that dude is a weird animal. That’s actually a pretty nice way to hint at your suspicions without alarming everyone around in case you’re wrong and still being able to watch the reaction to said suspicions directly. It’s also super nice because that way, instead of the Musical’s way where Madeleine just lift the thing without knowing he has a SUPER SUSPICIOUS EYE ON HIM and Javert being all “oh, hey, I suddenly vaguely remember that one dude who happened to totally look like you except less clean (and is already on re arrest anyway) “, here he totally knows he’s helping suspicions that existed already. He did waste time trying to have someone else do it before, but suddenly it’s okay because he’s putting himself in danger because hey that Javert guy could think he’s that convict ya know (which obviously isn’t the case, they must be twins or clones or something, amirite) Anyway he does his superman feat and there IS a collective effort in the end ! Yay ! Also Madeleine has the masochistic martyr-like expressions because apparently suffering makes him grow a halo or something. (It also kinda does that when he burns himself way later just to prove he can shut up while doing it, except that one time was way more stupid) Commentary Treblemirinlens Ultimate Wind Reaper. Excellent. XD Pmfji Great summary! XD Horses can break a thigh just like that though, if they happen to fall awkwardly. I once saw a horse break his thigh in the roundpen. He couldn’t get back up and had to be put to sleep on the spot. :-( Aresnergal (reply to Pmfji) Yeah, of course it’s possible, it’s just that every horse that got mentioned in the book so far died on the spot (or, okay, that one broke BOTH OF HIS THIGHS but horses are pretty much always put to sleep when they break something so it’s the same (well, especially at the time they really couldn’t do anything. I think nowadays it’s not necessarily impossible to treat them but ridiculously complicated and expensive) ) Though I guess stupid things happen - as said, I did break my arm by randomly falling when I was a kid, and I think there’s a whole bunch of kings and the likes who survived going to war all the time and them found their demise by falling of their horses while hunting or jousting. Stupid dangerous hobbies !